Where are the giant mechanised mincing machines and mutant octopus laser tanks? Oh well, I guess if we want a little more excitement we’ll have to instead look to the history books. Let’s do that shall we, in our list of the seven strangest battles in history.
There’s no better way of putting this than by simply stating that Australian soldiers once fought a war against Emus. Why? Well in 1932 Australia had a problem. Emus migrate like regular birds, but because they can’t fly they migrate by foot, and in the 1930s as many as 20,000 Emus migrated from inland areas to the coastal regions of West Australia. These Emus began eating crops, destroying fences, and generally causing a ruckus for the local farmers…so they decided to annihilate them.
You’re a military commander with a troop of horse-mounted men ready to battle on the coast, but your enemy is fleeing across the sea in a fleet of ships. What do you do? Ride the horses towards them and hope to Jesus your way over the water? Yes, that’s exactly what you do, especially if the water’s frozen.
In the 19th Century the United Kingdom possessed the most powerful Navy on Earth, and the Brits weren’t afraid of flexing their muscles now and then, but occasionally someone would call their bluff, and on one August morning in 1896 that’s exactly what happened…although the skirmish lasted about as long as a 38 year old virgin’s first time in the sack.
During the 14th Century there was disagreement over who should rule the Duchy of Brittany in modern day France. Edward the Third of England supported the claim of the House of Montfort, whereas Philip the Sixth of France supported the House of Blois’. But instead of one house besieging the other in a most ghastly and disagreeable fashion, it was agreed that the two opposing commanders, Robert Bemborough and Jean de Beaumanoir would each select thirty knights, squires and champions to formally do battle on a specifically designated battlefield.
The Brits are at it again, only this time it’s their famous cunning which was to blame for the next strange battle on our list. On the 5th of November 1917 the British Army was in the process of pushing back the Ottoman Turk forces into the town of Sheria.
Before he founded the Church of Scientology L. Ron Hubbard was already demonstrating some serious levels of crazy during his time as a commander in the navy, and in 1943 he illustrated this perfectly as he ordered his ship to attack an empty ocean floor.
Of all the battles on this list the Battle for Castle Itter is by far the best candidate to be turned into a movie. The conflict took place during the last days of World War 2’s European Theater, and involved a US Tank Battalion attempting to take the Austrian Castle Itter from the German SS Panzergrenadier Division holed up inside, with a little help from Austrian resistance fighters, an ex-tennis star, two former prime ministers, and even the German Wehrmacht.
Video credit to Strange Mysteries YouTube channel