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10 Realities Of Life On Mars

Real life Hank Scorpio Elon Musk says we’ll have a million people living on Mars by the 2060s…if he can steal enough underpants of course.

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Since Mars has neither an atmosphere nor a global magnetic field, those living on the surface will need something to protect them from space radiation caused by solar activity and galactic cosmic rays.

Two years ago NASA invested several hundred thousand dollars into a project to design 3D food printers which function in space, and offered up an edible pizza as proof that it works.

If one of your relatives is living on Mars you’ll have yet another excuse not to call them at Christmas, because communications between the two planets are delayed by between four and twenty-four minutes, depending on where Mars is in its orbit.

Just before the sun rises on a crisp Martian morning you’ll enjoy blue skies similar to what we experience on Earth, but as the sun drags its butt out of bed the hue of the heavens will switch to a pinkish-red much like the colour of a lightly slapped buttock.



A Martian day lasts 40 minutes longer than an Earth day, but due to its distance from the Sun it takes Mars almost twice as long to orbit the Sun, and a Martian year subsequently lasts 686 days.

According to Mars One’s Bas Lansdorp the technology required to get humans to Mars and keep them alive there definitely exists, but the technology to get them home does not.

Astronauts on the International Space Station must exercise for two hours a day to mitigate the effects of zero gravity on their muscles, and while Mars isn’t totally devoid of magic pully downie power, it does only possess a third of Earth’s gravity, so you’ll still need to work up a sweat on a daily basis to stop yourself turning into a pathetic weakling.

I like my bones just the way they are, but Martian colonists are gonna have to put up with a few more breakages than normal thanks to the effects of low gravity.

When Astronaut John Phillips travelled to the ISS he had perfect 20 20 vision, and when he returned this had degraded to 20 100 vision, which is only one step away from being legally blind.

I hope you’ve packed enough scarves and neckerchiefs for everyone Elon Musk, because thanks to the presence of toxins in the Martian soil there’s a risk everyone could end up looking like this.

Video credit to Strange Mysteries YouTube channel